“Come one, come all! Step right up to see the ‘prehistoric’, ‘wool-hat-and-monocle-adorned’, ‘brontosaurus’ chasing, ‘abaqus’ wielding, should-as-well-be-extinct telemarkers do the impossible!”
“You thought they were dead, but we coerced them to film themselves in the wild! You thought they’d only ‘genuflect’ for weed, but turns out, they’ll drop knees….. just for fun! Completely insane! Completely wild! Absolutely worth the price of admission!”
“What’s even more mysterious about these ‘backcountry-traveling wigglers’? Most of the footage captured is … unmistakably inbounds? Why would they do that?! What else will we learn?! Could it be possible that ‘dog turd casserole’ is actually tasty?”
“Grab your ‘wheelbarrows-worth of extra strength ibuprofen’, ‘cause your knees are gonna hurt just watching these people. No need to forage for ‘berries’ or ‘mammoth’ either as there’s plenty of ‘Paddy’ melts for everyone at the nearby ‘burger joint’!”
“So, now’s your chance! Come see the incredible King and Queen of the Heel: Telemark Video Competition entries! You’ll be astounded that although these people still like to travel via ‘covered wagon or horse or pogo stick,’ they do it with a smile! Tickets for the live event are available here, and don’t worry for those who can’t make it as a second, virtual showing will happen the following evening. The show is about to start!”
Ski Magazine… lol.